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What did your pops say when you first brought a black guy home to the dinner table? I'm always curious of other people's experiences so please share. As for me i got a pass on that one because my wife's father had already passed away - but i always wonder what his opinion of me would have been.
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Re: What did dad say?
Tue, January 3, 2006 - 10:50 PMwell my parents flew to belize where my man's mom made this fantastic fish dinner with tons of fresh tortillas and then we barbequed for another week straight...my dad seemed very accepting, racially, but i could see more tension having to do with class than race...a tiny home in belize just making it you know? whereas I was raised in a large home with "things." so sometimes people even perceive discomfort/dissaproval/odd reactions from parents and assume it is race but there may be other factors, you never know...
I think my dad is realistic about our difference in race, in that it puts extra pressure on the relationship, especially if we ever live together in America where there is a different type of racism than he's used to (although there's plenty of racism in belize based on different shades of black, just seems more prominent in the US). -
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Re: What did dad say?
Tue, January 3, 2006 - 11:00 PMyeah, i think people tend to lump class and race together so much that they can't tell the difference but it is very real. Anytime i talk to someone not native to the us they can pick up on class distinctions very easily, not just race. Stangely americans usually want to not talk about class distinctions even though they strictly adhere to them.
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Re: What did dad say?
Wed, January 11, 2006 - 2:58 PMtold him he was american, and watched my dad's brain melt. -
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Re: What did dad say?
Sun, January 15, 2006 - 8:01 PMmy dad waited until the guy was in the other rooom and made a point of telling me that he "didn't mind...he works with a black guy - and he's ok..." I mean what a stupid thing to say. all I could reply with was..."oh yeah..."
my dad was WAY uncomfortable. -
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Re: What did dad say?
Mon, January 16, 2006 - 7:02 PMA lot of times parents hope it's just a passing "phase" and their son or daughter will "come around" and start dating someone of their own race after they get it out of their system. Personally I think romantic relationships are (one of) the measuring stick(s) by which to gauge social progress. Once interracial dating/marriage becomes a non-issue for the average person then we can truly say we've turned the corner on racial relations. -
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Re: What did dad say?
Wed, January 18, 2006 - 2:24 PMtrue.
that just leaves gender, age, economics.....
:)
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Re: What did dad say?
Wed, January 18, 2006 - 2:30 PMwow. at least yours was polite. mine did it RIGHT in front of him, and was COMPLETLY rude about it.
i went into the bathroom and blew snot. -
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Re: What did dad say?
Sat, January 21, 2006 - 9:55 AMWell my dad took us out to a cafe to get to know my then fiancee and proceeded to be as charming as I've ever seen him. Then as we were walking back to the car he slowed down a bit so we were a little cut of and said to me " Trust you to go white; I never expected anything more from you, for a while there I thought you were a lesbian so I suppose I should be thankful for that at least".
I kid you not, those were the darling pearls that dropped from his lips. We had always had our issues but for me that was an eyeopener!!
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