I used to have Big Freaking Problems with people using the word nigger. I grew up in NYC, and believe me, you didn't mouth off with that word back when I was growing up (70s and 80s). But thanks to some interesting twists and turns my life has taken, I am no longer able to be hooked by someone using verbiage. I think it is fascinating how language changes and morphs.

By blunting the assumed "hatefulness" of the word, you dilute its nagative potential. I personally have issue with letting words and the actions of others dictate how I live. No one word should have that much power.

Peace.

~Mollena

i didnt even read the whole statement but when that word that people wont let die came up i just got irratated, i wish people would just forget about that word and never use it or bring it up, its getting really old

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but the word "nigger" wil never hurt me.

I was asked about a variation on this topic, and here was my response...

I am a Black, male Dominant, and I admit that I do engage in the use of the word, but not as a part of my BDSM play. I engage in it as a part of my regular sex life. Even when I have taken off my leathers, I am still Dominant (Dominant is who I am, not just what I do, much the same as a person knows that they are straight or gay, whether they have ever had sex or not).

When at home, I enjoy vigorous, enthusiastic sex. I feel very intimate and close to my lovers, and don't want there to be anything that I cannot share with them - nothing that is taboo. The only way to demonstrate that that is so, is to do and say anything. Ass slapping, hair pulling... anything goes. I especially enjoy erotic wordplay and get an uninhibited thrill from releasing whatever naughty little expletive erupts from our carnal bliss.

There is nothing like the rush I get when a woman feels so safe and secure with me that she can scream out "I'm gonna cum all over your nigger dick, Daddy!" or "fuck me, you big Black motherfucker!". I had a lover once tell me that she never came so hard in her life as when she heard me rapturously sputter "look at what you're doing to me, you filthy fucking Jewess!" in hear ear. I was honored, because it fostered a level of closeness and self expression between us that transcended race or religion. It was total acknowlegement and acceptance of everything that we were and were not; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Now others may look at this type of talk with disdain and say that it goes too far They can call me a freak if they want to, but these are often the same people who routinely say things like "who's your Daddy" or without thinking about what that phrase actually implies. To them I say this; God doesn't judge a person until after that person's life has ended. Who is man to do it any sooner?

I think, that it is all just a matter of perception and intent.

I have been called nigger by racists as a malicious slur, and I have been called nigger by my friends and relatives as a familial term of endearment. The former got pounded, while the latter got pounds. Why would I let my best friend say "even if you get no bigger, you're still my nigger" and not allow my lover (the person who shares my body and my bed) to do the same, just because she may not be black? To do that would imply that no matter how intimate we get, we'll never be that close. That isn't what I'm commited to.

My point is that the difference is not in the word (whether it's spelled nigger, nigga, nukka, or nizzle) but in the meaning that we create and apply to the word, based upon who it's coming from. I'm not going to stop enjoying my Richard Pryor albums, or Quentin Tarantino films, for that matter, because of their generous use of the word. That doesn't mean I would vote Mark Fuhrman for Sheriff, either. It's about discernment

Just as in BDSM play, it's a mutually consensual, personal experience. So I'll just quote George Clinton and say...
"to each - his reach, and if you can't cop it, it ain't yours to have"

Think! It ain't illegal, yet.

There are many many people who are very irresponsible parents. They let their kids get away with all sorts of things, then cry the blues when something happens.

For instance, many people call themselves and each other these names and they think it's okay. When someone from outside their group or circle of friends uses the word, suddenly it's derogatory and sometimes a fight breaks out. When the parents have to go get the kids from the police station, they blame the other kids for starting the fight with using the word instead of owning up to their own responsibilities of teaching their kids not to use this word for any reason.

The parents of the kids who used the word in the first place also blame the other kids because it's "just a word or name" that shouldn't incite any feelings. Because it did, then "it must be true".

Some have gotten around all this by changing the word. Instead of calling black people "nigger", they now just call them "monkey". It's the same degradation, but monkey isn't nearly as hated a word, being that they are a real animal and it's much more politically correct.

Your parents did a good job with you (at least in this respect... I don't know anything else about you so I can't speak on anything else). You'll do a good job with your kids (if you already have them or if you have them in the future).

More responsibility for raising one's kids is necessary, though, otherwise these kids grow into adults believing this is okay to do.

I have had discussions with people of several races about derogatory language...to me there are certain words which I will never use, nor ever accept as "hip" so I teach my children to respect others and not use derogatory language. My significant other is African-American and we've discussed it also, the use of "nigger" is unacceptable to me, although it is used by young people of various races. When I was in college, we (my black friends and I) called each other cuz now they seem to use "nigger". In my day, that would have led to a bloody confrontation, I still think it's a word like "bitch" that is too often used and abused.