Tribe.net. Local Connections philip http://interracial.tribe.net/thread/18ec9ed8-7d1b-4500-a950-e21642e18ca6#175fbedd-53f7-43f7-8fcd-bf9b6385f8ae 2008-07-03T21:10:16Z 2008-07-03T21:10:16Z

That's quite a tale you related to me, Kaiya. Truly inspiring.

philip 2008-07-03T21:10:16Z kaiya http://interracial.tribe.net/thread/18ec9ed8-7d1b-4500-a950-e21642e18ca6#46814a11-cb95-4f65-acf0-6323cab97445 2008-07-03T09:03:20Z 2008-07-03T08:58:22Z

Hey Philip... I am in a brand-new relationship. I spent the week with him in North Carolina (where he's from) and didn't encounter any negativity...incidentally, literally EVERY black man that he and I came into contact with was with a woman who was not of African descent. :) We also encountered a HUGE number of interracial couples of various blends AND two same-sex couples...lol... it was adorable...it was like there was a convention going on somewhere in the area...I've NEVER encountered such a high number of (what I call) non-standard couples in Los Angeles (where I'm from) all in one place all at one time, ever in my life. We were on two points of the Triangle area, going between Raleigh and Chapel Hill / Carrboro ... we were supposed to go to Durham, but we got lost, as usual lol My love tells me that the experience in North Carolina will probably be different than in LA...I have the lovely distinction of being invisible in Los Angeles, (cuz if you're not Beyonce, Halle Berry or some reasonable facsimile thereof, you're pretty much chopped liver) so for the most part men, especially black men, are not at all attracted to me. It's not a matter of me being oblivious, but is rather a matter of people really not finding me attractive -- with the exception of homeless men, men in their late 60's (my father's age) or kids in their late teens / early 20's, none of whom are suitable for me, for obvious reasons. I think that the women might have that reaction to you because they consider you to be one of "their" men -- similar to what Juanita mentions in her response. I don't suppose that there's any reason for a black woman to say anything negative to me because it means that there is one more black man available for her to choose from...(if she only knew lol) If anyone made a comment at all in my past, it was from black men calling me a "stray." As to your question...how does it make me feel? (This might be a slightly bitchy thing to say, but) it made me grateful that was with a man who had some class and some home-training; enough such that he had sense enough not to go around accosting strangers over something that was LITERALLY none of his business and had no effect on him at all. (Cuz that's what all this REALLY boils down to. It's nobody's business but our own. The End.) There are black men who assume that a black woman who dates or marries "outside her race" does so because she hasn't "found the right black man." Apparently, it is never taken into consideration that she may not be attracted to black men. Oh no, never that. Lesbian friends of mine have heard the same BS...that they are lesbian because "they haven't had a good man yet." Really??!! How about folks just operate under the supposition that we are all women and men who have the intelligence and the ability to make our own choices and do not have to be bound by who people think we should be attracted to? How about that? best, kaiya

kaiya 2008-07-03T08:58:22Z Juanita http://interracial.tribe.net/thread/18ec9ed8-7d1b-4500-a950-e21642e18ca6#2ea75685-0e1c-4ce5-9206-a99ea1b8a8b2 2008-06-25T07:00:57Z 2008-06-25T07:00:57Z

I've never encountered any form of snide comments in public from groups of black women. My cousin said something once, and I haven't spoken to her since (that was 12 yrs ago). Black men, on the other hand, have had quite a bit to say in the past. It didn't bother me too much... What's bothered me the most were some of the Mexican-American women when we lived in Texas right on the U.S./Mexico border. They assumed that I didn't speak Spanish and had all kinds of demeaning things to say about me being too fat, (what they assumed) "unmarried", pregnant, and with one of "their boys". I was pissed a couple times (one lady even tried the whole, "Oh is that your sister?" bit... ugh! we look NOTHING alike!), but oh well... the hubby and I had been married for 3yrs, together for 8 at that point... we just don't wear wedding rings. And, since he's actually from Puerto Rico, he's not one of "their" boys at all :) Still, it's never quite what I'd call a "fun" thing to experience...

Juanita 2008-06-25T07:00:57Z philip http://interracial.tribe.net/thread/18ec9ed8-7d1b-4500-a950-e21642e18ca6#9108c447-905f-4f97-b034-f046a6aaced8 2008-06-20T19:35:18Z 2008-06-20T19:35:18Z

There you are, strolling along the park or street with your white/black/asian lover in your arm, when you notice a group of Black women approaching you and then you hear them make sniding comments about you and your woman/man ... you get the picture. Tel me, how does that make yuo feel?

philip 2008-06-20T19:35:18Z